[Image: holding candle]Holidays cause stress even under the best of circumstances. And many Louisiana families continue to have far from an ideal situation this Christmas season. Loss can trigger depression during the holidays. And many Louisiana families have experienced loss because of the hurricanes, an illness or death in the family. Some have family members far away from home in Iraq or Afghanistan or have lost their jobs.
One way to overcome the holiday blues is to concentrate on what you have rather than what you don’t have, says Diane Sasser, LSU AgCenter family and consumer sciences specialist. Create new memories, Sasser says. Come up with new holiday traditions – ones that don’t involve much money and that focus on family togetherness. Consider the significance of the holidays for you and your family.
For example, set aside time to create as a family new and inexpensive holiday decorations and gifts. Find new activities to do together as a family, such as visiting displays, attending parades, viewing Christmas lights or volunteering. Instead of celebrating one day, spread activities over many days, Sasser says.
Holiday stress can be particularly difficult to manage when it occurs within "blended" families, or families in which one or both parents have children from former relationships, the LSU AgCenter expert says.
"A blended family may be small, consisting of an adult couple and one child, or larger, perhaps consisting of hers, his and their children," Sasser says. "Custody arrangements can result in the parents building a family around full-time, shared or weekend step-parenting."
With whom do your children spend the holidays? What if you and your children’s other parent are in constant conflict? How do you make these decisions? Regardless of how hard you try, not all the relatives will be pleased. The best solution is to put the needs of the children first, Sasser says.
Step out of your comfort zone and do what you think is right. This requires a view of the situation unclouded by any resentment of your "ex." Putting aside anger is difficult, but considering what is right for the children should make it a little more palatable. If your emotions get the better of you, your children may suffer. There is no need to put your children in the middle of the problems between two adults.
While it is possible to extend kindness toward someone you dislike, you also do not want to include those who may behave inappropriately. When making your decisions, consider any negative aspects and base your choice on whether the children will benefit from the involvement of your former spouse. Weigh the positives and negatives and do what is best for them. You’ll be glad you did.
Your Physical Health
Your mental health at holiday time is affected by your physical health. Eat healthy foods. Don’t skip breakfast. And don’t overindulge, says LSU AgCenter nutrition specialist Beth Reames. Overeating can cause stress. And drinking alcohol can trigger depression.
Exercise is important, too. Going for a walk reduces stress and helps ward off weight gain. If you shop at a mall, park far away so you have farther to walk. And don’t go to the mall hungry, Reames says. Shopping on an empty stomach can make you overeat.
Read and listen to these healthy eating tips:
[Image: gift]d+Take+Action+To+Avoid+Holiday+Weight+Gain.htm">Take Action To Avoid Holiday Weight Gain
Getting Off Track During Holidays Doesn't Have To Derail Healthy Eating
Eating Healthy Possible While Christmas Shopping
Overspending Leads to Stress
Overdoing it with credit cards and spending causes stress at the holidays. Try to keep spending under control, advises LSU AgCenter specialist Jeanette Tucker. She offers these tips:
- Set spending limits for gifts for each person as well as for other items in your spending plans, then begin looking for bargains. If it has been a tough year for you, cut back on what you usually spend during the holidays.
- Decide if you are going to use a credit card for holiday spending. If you decide to use only cash, leave your credit cards at home so you won’t be tempted. If you use checks or a debit card, be sure to record each purchase in your check register and figure the balance before writing another check.
- If you plan to use a credit card, select just one to use for your holiday spending. It’s much easier to control your spending on one card than on three or four. Write your spending limit on an envelope and put it in your wallet. When you use your credit card, write the amount on the envelope and subtract it from your limit. When you have reached your limit, stop using your credit card! Keep the receipts in the envelope – this will be a convenient way to file receipts for those inevitable post-holiday returns.
- Try to separate shopping trips from spending trips. Make one trip to compare prices and value, but don’t take along your chec[Image: money]kbook or credit cards. Decide what you can afford to buy, then go back to make the purchases.
- Once the holidays are over, your credit card company may offer to let you skip a payment or two. Or, it may invite you to pay back only the minimum or even reduce your minimum payment. "Don’t be tempted to take these offers, since you will pay more in the long run," Tucker says.
The LSU AgCenter is one of 11 institutions of higher education in the Louisiana State University System. Headquartered in Baton Rouge, it provides educational services in every parish and conducts research that contributes to the economic development of the state. The LSU AgCenter does not grant degrees nor benefit from tuition increases. The LSU AgCenter plays an integral role in supporting agricultural industries, enhancing the environment, and improving the quality of life through its 4-H youth, family and community programs.
(This AgCenter Lead was revised on December 7, 2007, by Linda Benedict.)